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--stupid.little.girl--

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my life. [Apr. 17th, 2004|11:13 am]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |depresseddepressed]
[tunes |the district sleeps alone tonight---the postal service]

fuck everything sucks. i am losing my closest friend because she is a fucking psycho. my bf is a fucking controling asshole. i fucking hate this. all of the people i know. i hate them. i hate all of them. they are all manupulative, sedistic fucking bitches. i dot want to fucking cry anymore. i am sick of these tears. night after night. fucking sick...i dont know what to do. fuck..
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wow. [Apr. 12th, 2004|11:23 am]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |enviousenvious]

i feel so loved i have noone ever stopping by my journal. ooo. i am so damn special. oh well whatever. i am a loser. heh.
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happy belated b-day to me!!! [Apr. 11th, 2004|06:13 pm]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |annoyedannoyed]
[tunes |none.]

kill me.

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anorexia nervosa. and my best friend.advil [Mar. 17th, 2004|02:18 pm]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |depresseddepressed]
[tunes |none.]

the last few days have been so depressing...it makes me so sad. none stop fights with my bf, and the fear of losing my friends. i think i am becoming anorexic. i havent eaten barely anything for the past coupl days. i feel like i am getting fat. i dont want to get fat. and i have o.d.ed on advil 4 times. it knocks me out for a while so. it is quite fine with me. whatever helps me not think.i hate thinking. my thoughts are the root of all despair. all i ever think about is hurt. i cry. and it is terrible. the only person that i realy have is ryan and i have been pushing him away. and i have been so moody last couple days. i find it hilarious.heh. i am always. sad.hahahahahaha. i need him more than anything. meh. my tummy hurts.hahahahah.oh well. i have a headache, i am going to take some advil. heh.---fin.
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questionaire!!! [Mar. 16th, 2004|02:43 pm]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |blahblah]
[tunes |```song of boredom.]

my name is]: elora
[height?]: 5'7
[in the morning i am]: Getting ready for school.
[all i need is]: make-up.
[if i could see one person right now]: not me.
[im afraid of]: spiders
[i dream about]: unhappy, scary things.


-H A V E .Y O U. E V E R . .
[cried when someone died]: Yes..
[lied]: of course.

-W H I C H . I S . B E T T E R-
[coke or pepsi]: coke
[flowers or candy]: candy
[tall or short]: tall

-W I T H .T H E. O P P O S I T E. S E X-
[what do u notice first?]: face
[last person u slow danced with]: cant remember.
[worst thing to say to a girl]: fattie.



-D O. Y O U .E V E R-
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: somedays...
[save yahoo/msn conversations]: occasionally.
[wish u were a member of the opposite sex]: during that time of the month.
[cried because of someone saying something to u]: yes


H A V E .Y O U .E V E R-
[fallen for ur best friend]: Yes
[been rejected?]: uhhuh
[rejected someone]: heh. yah.
[used someone]: not really.
[been cheated on]: yes...
[done something u regret]: yes, very much so.
[been drunk?]: heh. oh yah.
[done drugs?]: nope.

-W H O .W A S .T H E .L A S T. P E R S O N-
[u talked to on the phone]: ryan
[hugged]: ryan
[u instant messaged]: rob
[that instant messaged you]: mandie
[u laughed with]: cant remember...

-D O .Y O U-
[color ur hair]: no, but i will be soon//purple yah!!!!
[ever get off the damn computer]: yes...eventually.
[habla espanol]: huh???

-D O .Y O U / / A R E .Y O U-
[smoke cigarettes]: used to. quit.
[obsessive]: Sometimes
[could u live without the computer?]: yes, but i would feel lost.
[how many peeps are on ur buddylist?]: 64
[what's your favorite food?]: not sure
[whats ur favorite fruit?]: strawberries
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: neither I don’t like the sun
[what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily]:not really, but sometimes..



D O Y O U...

HAVE A CRUSH? ya
HAVE A BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND? Yes
READ THE NEWSPAPER? no
HAVE ANY GAY, BISEXUAL OR LESBIAN FRIENDS? yes.hehe.
BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? no.
BELIEVE IT'S POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER? no
DRINK ALCOHOL? nope.
BELIEVE IN GOD? no.
HAVE ANY SECRETS? Yes..
HAVE ANY PETS? had a black kitten named damien, and then a black cat named salem...i want a nother black cat and name him MANSON!!!
GO TO OR PLAN TO GO TO UNIVERSITY? yes.
HAVE ANY TATTOOS? Not yet.
HAVE A BEST FRIEND? Not anymore.
HAVE ANY BAD HABITS? Yes.
CARE ABOUT LOOKS? yes.
TRUST OTHERS EASILY? kind of.
TAKE WALKS IN THE RAIN? yes. i love the rain, but i hate runny mascara.





L A S T T I M E Y O U . . .

SMILED? couple days ago.
CRIED? last night.
BOUGHT SOMETHING? candy.
DANCED? long time ago.
HAMMERED? summer.
KISSED SOMEONE? yesterday.
TALKED TO AN EX? yesterday.
LAST THING YOU READ? friend sent a journal entry to me..very long!
LAST MOVIE YOU SAW ON THE BIG SCREEN? gothika.
LAST TIME YOU HAD SEX/MADE LOVE? hrm.
NUMBER YOU CALLED? ryans
LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED? while ago.
LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED ON TV? cant remember.
LAST SONG YOU HEARD? sweet dreams-marilyn manson.
LAST THING YOU HAD TO DRINK? orange juice.
YOU ATE? cereal.
I REGRET- way too many things
I WISH – many things, but wishes dont come true.
I LOVE – i dont know anymore.
I MISS – ...
I FEAR – spiders/pretty i just dont want to get bitten.
I WANT – cant say
I HEAR – music
I SEARCH – ...




A - Act your age? Sometimes
B - Born on what day of the week? saturday.
C - Chore you hate? vaccuming
D - Dad's name? i dont know.
E - Essential makeup item? liquid Eyeliner and powder
F - Favorite actor? Johnny depp
G - Gold or silver? Silver
H - Hometown? SSM
I - Instruments you play? learning guitar.
J - Job title? student
K - Kids? no.heh.
L - Living arrangements? at my moms with her bf.
M - Mum's name? laurie.
N - Number of people you've ever loved? 1
O - Overnight hospital stays? none.
P - Phobia? i dont know.
Q - Quote you like? This is life what a fucked up thing we do
R - Reason for doing this quiz? something to do.
S - Siblings? none.
T - Time you wake up? 6;30
U - Unique habit? i dont know.
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat? peas
W - Worst habit? thinking too much.
X - X-rays you've had? 1
Y - Yummy food you make? make...?
Z- Zodiac Sign? aries
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(no subject) [Mar. 16th, 2004|03:11 am]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |tiredtired]
[tunes |same as a couple sec. ago.]



i see me....


i hope i can work thigs out...:) i really hope so...
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fuxking stupid. [Mar. 16th, 2004|03:09 am]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |tiredtired]
[tunes |sweat dreams---marilyn manson]

well... i fucked up huge today. one of my friends was really upset about her bf, and i absently mindedly gave her some advice i shouldnt have. you see her bf is also one of my friends, and when he found out... he was upset with me. i felt terrible. i mean, i was none of my business in the first place, but iwas making her fell better...she was really depressed..aw.

ooo. another thing.. i was cramping really bad today... so i was able to go to my friedn letitias. i was sooo disappointed. i really wanted to go, but now it is too late. she will be leaving tomorrow anyway. not like my bf ryan wanted me to go anyway.

ryan is my bf... not only that but he has quite a controlling side...it sucks. i lov him, and i dont want to break up with him, but i hate to be told what to do. i just dont want to put up with it anymore...but i will. for him. it just sucks sometimes. he can be such an ass!

fuck. iam so dumb. why do i do this all to myself.. ?
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my friend [Mar. 15th, 2004|06:45 pm]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |worriedworried]
[tunes |song of sadness]

my friend [sophie] is going through some tough times... i feel terrible i have been trying to help her out, but i seem to be having no luck. see, he bf is trying to do this dumb thing...she doesnt like it, continues to along with it anyway because she loves him. but i have been trying to convince her, tha it is wrong, and she deserves better... but she just wont listen, and she seems to be getting worse...

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

sophie..i love yah.

 

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hello. [Mar. 15th, 2004|06:30 pm]
--stupid.little.girl--
[emotion |lazylazy]
[tunes |pretty-korn]

holy crap... i have to type it again. for fuck sakes. well hello. this is the first entry.. tada! well...anyway. i suppose i will go i am going to call my love....ryan hm...^.^ fin.
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